QUOTES! Round Two

Matt – "I’m secretly fat…I’m wearing three corsets."

Matt- "Well I dreamt about engaging primal forest gods in mortal combat, so I’m doing ok."

Lauren- "And Jacob is this werewolf guy who just has all sort of hormonal problems." Matt- "And he has hot flashes." Lauren- "Yea, well so do I."

Matt – "I really want my future wife to be just like a frat boy."

Matt (in the tuk tuk)– "If I could move my hands right now I would be scratching myself." (I was imitating my future fratboy wife!)

Emily – "With all of these mosquitoes I wish I had taken my malaria pills."
Lauren – "Do malaria pills keep the mosquitoes away?"

Matt (while watching Twilight. The scene where Jacob is ALMOST KISSING BELLA but NOT because he's LAME) – "Slowest kisser ever! Kiss her! Gosh DARN it! Kiss her like lightning!"

Andrea – "Wait. The vampire has a family?"

Lauren – "Porcause…"

Matt- "Well not everyone was born with such lustrous eyebrows as I was."

Matt- "I need to go to the bathroom, but Emily is asleep!" (I needed her to translate!)

Matt- “Here come the fingers of doom!!”

Matt- “Women basically have a courier service for toilet paper in their bathrooms.”

Cressia- “I love it when men cry. Do you have any chick-flick movies?”

Matt- “Come any closer and I will destroy you with my left foot of thunder!”

Emily- “I knew how to say ‘fig tree’ but I didn’t know how to say ‘fig’…go figure, no pun intended. Oh that was bad.” Matt- “And now Matt beats Emily with his waterbottle.”

Lauren Harlow- Singing- “Don’t worry, I’ll hold the door shut while stuff comes out your butt!”

Matt- “It was Tom Revere, right?” Morgan- “Yes, definitely Tom.” Lauren Haefliger- “Paul. It was Paul Revere.” Matt and Morgan- “Oh…oops.”

(Ashley and Lauren are sitting next to Matt while his face was cocooned in a hammock) Matt- “You know, most men dream of stuff like this, and I’m living that dream!”

Morgan- “Matt, those children were so afraid of you.” Matt- “Normal.” Lauren Haefliger- “And like five women ran away from you today.” Matt- “Also normal.”

Cressia (talking about something I did)- "I told my mom and she was like, 'Pray for him , Cressia, that's not normal!' and I was like, 'I have been, mom.'"



These quotes are awfully incriminating.

-Matt